Loading Events

« All Events

PWR Presents: Ghost Mall

September 7, 2019 @ 6:30 pm - 10:00 pm

PWR Presents- Ghost Mall

[This mall-based megaparty and wrestling event is all-ages. 21+ to drink. Some content may not be suitable for kids]

Massive, fake-marble columns support cathedral ceilings. A sea of abandoned kiosks pours out before you without end. Not a living creature has set foot in this graveyard of commerce, not an ear has been pierced or a tip frosted, since the early 2000s… This is a physically dead and abandoned place. Dead…but dreaming!

FOR THERE IS MORE TO THIS FALLEN RETAIL KINGDOM THAN MEETS THE EYE! What GHOULS pace the floors of this ossuary of shuttered Hot Topics and Sunglass Huts? What ETHEREAL MOUTHS devour SPECTRAL SOFT-PRETZELS, huddled around a giant fountain which now spurts out BLOODWATER? What is this void where mournful spirits eternally shop — this tomb of paisley carpets and broken escalators?

This, friends, is an abandoned mall! This, beloved, is a HAUNTED HALL! THIS, MY PALS, IS THE MAUL OF SLAMERICA!!!

LOOK UPON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND GET SCARED!

The ritual necromancy of PWR has resurrected a once-feared indoor shopping complex, and now it’s ours! You BET we’re gonna party there; you KNOW we’re gonna wrestle there! Prepare for the ultimate battle for the SOUL OF THE MALL! Grab swords from the sword store, feast upon a bounty of glazeous SIN-abon! Recline in wanton splendor upon the BROOKBONE MASSAGE THRONE! But watch out for skeletons and ghosts…as usual, they are everywhere.

OSHKOSH B’GOTH

That’s right! We’re not just talking about the ghosts of people, either, but the ghosts of stores! This dread mall is haunted by the spirit of SLAM GOODY…the wraith of JP DONGLER’S…and some say the revanant of SIMON herself! Unbelievable.

On September 7th, leave your body behind, and ENTER THE MAULSALEUM!

Here’s the matches you’ll see:

~~~~PARTYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH~~~~

Big Daddy Bolero {C} vs. Alexandra Cage
******
SHOPPING FOR VENGEANCE!
Big Daddy Bolero’s in-ring-tactics are controversial, and his business dealings? Inexcusable! But he’s the champion! The Eastside of the Multiverse has been consumed in his smog, and the tendrils of DALLAS threaten to poison the very GHOST MALL! Alexandra Cage, The RADICAL ENFORCER OF PARTY RESISTANCE, now hoists her baseball bat — the one called “REVENGE!” She lost to BDB once, and swore he would pay for cheating his way to victory. For BDB, the Ghost Mall sale is over. Cage is coming to collect what he owes…with interest!

The Valkyries vs. The Dumpster Babes {Cs}
******
BFF Championship! Who will be the BEST FRIENDS in PWR? Will it be our current champions — the wedded wastelords — the DUMPSTER BABES? Or can their winged, ancient challengers — the emissaries of WORMHALLA — prove their FRIEND-METTLE?!

Ralph Macchiatto vs. Sprida
******
The BEVERAGE BATTLE! Ralph Macchiato: a coffee crusader intent on judging the palates of the masses! Sprida: PWR’s refreshing, citrus hero! We all know that adding soda to coffee tastes nasty. But what happens to a DRINK DIFFERED? Does it wither like a lemon-lime in the sun?… OR DOES IT DRINKSPLODE?!

The Judgement of the Food Court
******
Hungry from all this retail rumbling?! Grab a bite of LEGAL DRAMA! Orange Julius Caesar Salad has subpoenaed the PRIMO FAMILY (Luigi Primo, Olive and Anchovius) to COURTROOM COMBAT! The prosecutors? The enchantress Circe, her hog-minion Marcus Arugulas, and a mysterious executioner! Get ready to PLEAD THE FIST!

Pastaman vs. Hot Dog {C}
******
Pastaman is a young spaghetti homunculus. Hot Dog is an itinerant crustpunk and PWR’s Garbageweight champion. These two now lock together — like ramen with chunks of dumpstered vegan sausages — to determine whether MANGA is good!

Arbitro Obscuro vs. Dock Master {C}
******
PWR’s Necroweight Champion, DOCK MASTER, continues his inexplicable reign of terror. What lurks behind the stone features and leering grin of Canada’s greatest longshoreman? The stalwart scion of justice, Arbitro Obscuro, must embark on a quest to get his friend back, and to break the power of the NECROWEIGHT BELT!

Plus:

Gary the Goat in Action – after losing one of his horns, Gary is extremely down on his luck. Even sad Goats need DEALS, though, so we hope to see him at the Mall!

…Plus Much More!

Details

Date:
September 7, 2019
Time:
6:30 pm - 10:00 pm
Event Categories:
,
Website:
https://www.facebook.com/events/2153420994786213/

Venue

4th Tap Brewing Co-op
10615 Metric Blvd
Austin, TX 78758 United States
+ Google Map
Website:
http://4thtap.coop